Programming, Motherfucker

Do you speak it?

We are a community of motherfucking programmers who have been humiliated by software development methodologies for years.

We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

We are tired of being told we're autistic idiots who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair Programming chain gang without any time to be creative because none of the 10 managers on the project can do... Programming, Motherfucker.

We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

* * * *

Our Values

They Claim To ValueThey Really ValueWe Fucking Do
Individuals and interactionsTons of billable hoursProgramming, Motherfucker
Working softwareTons of pointless testsProgramming, Motherfucker
Customer collaborationBleeding clients dryProgramming, Motherfucker
Responding to changeInstability and plausible deniabilityProgramming, Motherfucker

We think the shit on the left, is really just the con in the middle, and that we really need to just do the thing on the right...Programming, Motherfucker.

Signed,

Zed A. Shaw
And The Programming Motherfuckers

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